You know what still gets me? The other day I was showing my nephew some old PlayStation games, and he asks me, completely innocent, "Why didn't they make Crash Bandicoot for Nintendo 64?" Just like that. Kid's eight years old and he's asking the question that haunted an entire generation of platform gamers.I had to stop and think about how to explain console exclusivity to someone who's never lived through a proper console war. These…
There's something magical about the way a floppy disk used to click when you slotted it into your school's ancient PC. That plastic-on-metal snap meant adventure was loading—and more often than not, it meant learning was about to happen without you even realizing it.I spent countless hours in computer labs that smelled like that particular cocktail of warm electronics and industrial carpet cleaner, hunched over beige monitors that hummed like sleepy refrigerators. We'd file in…
I remember walking into Electronics Boutique in 1998, scanning the shelves for something different. The usual suspects were there—GoldenEye, Mario Kart 64, Star Fox 64—but then I spotted it. A bright orange cartridge with four familiar faces grinning back at me: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. South Park, the TV show that made my parents cringe and my teenage self laugh until my sides hurt, had somehow made it onto the Nintendo 64.The bloke behind…
The other day my eight-year-old asked me why Sonic looks "weird" on our modern TV, and I realized we'd been playing the Blue Blur through some dodgy composite cables that made him look like he'd been dipped in vaseline. That got me digging through my emulation setup again, because let's be honest—original Mega Drive hardware is brilliant, but it's also thirty-odd years old and sometimes you just want to play Sonic 2 without worrying about…
Cleaning out the spare room last weekend—you know, that archaeological dig every gamer eventually faces—I found myself holding two controllers that basically tell the entire story of how we learned to play games with our thumbs. The Nintendo 64's three-pronged beast and the Switch Pro Controller, separated by about twenty years of design evolution. Holding them side by side felt like comparing a prototype spaceship to its sleek descendant.The N64 controller still looks alien, doesn't…
The smell of a freshly opened game box—you know the one I'm talking about. That slightly plasticky, new electronics scent mixed with the crisp pages of an instruction manual. I was hunched over our coffee table last weekend, carefully lifting the cardboard flaps on a mint-condition Saturn game I'd finally tracked down on eBay, and it hit me like a time machine. Suddenly I'm twelve again, saving pocket money for months just to afford one…
You know that moment when you realize you've been doing something wrong your entire life? Like when you discover you've been tying your shoelaces the hard way, or that there's actually a proper way to peel a banana. That's exactly what happened to me the first time I picked up an N64 controller and tried to walk Mario around Princess Peach's courtyard.I'd been gaming since the Atari days, right? Spent countless hours with a joystick…
Picture this: you're twelve years old, it's 1995, and your mate's just pulled out what looks like a chunky Game Boy that somehow runs actual Mega Drive games. Not watered-down handheld versions—the real thing. Streets of Rage 2, Sonic 2, Gunstar Heroes, all crammed into this brick-sized marvel that Sega called the Nomad. My brain nearly fell out.I'll be honest, my first reaction wasn't "wow, portable 16-bit gaming!" It was more like "how many AA…
There's something about that electric blue plastic that still makes me grin like an idiot. I'm talking about the Pikachu N64, obviously—that wonderful, ridiculous console that Nintendo dropped on us in 2000, complete with Pokémon Hey You, Pikachu! and a microphone that barely worked but somehow didn't matter.I remember the exact moment I saw one for the first time. My mate Dave had somehow convinced his mum to get him one for his birthday, and…
My mum used to say television was the devil's picture box, but even she couldn't resist the absolute chaos of Blankety Blank. Saturday teatime meant Terry Wogan winking at celebrities who'd clearly had a liquid lunch, and those felt-tip pens that squeaked against the answer boards like fingernails on a blackboard. I was probably seven, maybe eight, sitting cross-legged on the carpet with a plate of beans on toast, watching grown-ups make complete pillocks of…